Video Games and Depression

I have played an awful lot of video games. The first experience I had was with Jordan Mechner’s Prince of Persia for MS-DOS. Since then, I played various ones from FPSs, RPGs, TPSs, strategy, etc. Some of them stand out… others not much. But the interest in playing a new game almost always guarantees my attention.

Video games are a powerful medium. During fairly difficult and stressful periods of my life, the ability to forget all about my worries and think solely about the game mission at hand is something unique. No movie or TV series has been able to capture my attention like this. After experiencing some games - I was even forced to contemplate - like a moment of zen meditation. Some games are for casual gamers, some are focused towards a niche, some are even student projects that get upgraded to be released for mainstream. Ill just talk about one game series here otherwise this piece will never end.

The dark souls series is targeted towards a niche market and often labelled as one of the “most difficult games” by casual gamers – and the first time I played it, I gave up like 5 minutes into it. After a few years, I gave it another shot and this time, I was hooked. There was very limited dialogue or story given to the player in the entire game, save the intro. You begin as a lone, semi-featureless figure siting in prison. You see someone who drops the key of your cell and you intuitively know that you must get out. And so you begin your journey. You travel great distances, learn the level design, open shortcuts, overcome huge bosses and piece together a story of the cycle of light and dark and the many civilizations in between. There are moments of transcendent beauty, and moments of idiot frustration as you often don’t know where you are going. But you must keep moving forward. Along the way, you encounter others players - who also happen to literally be other players of the game… consciously you are being connected with these ghostly figures running around. You cannot speak, but you can make gestures and between that and your basic movements, can ask for help from these fellow travelers, or leave them behind as you continue along your own path. You eventually reach the final boss. And this is where the cycle with end/begin again. I won’t give away too much - and it’s been around awhile, so you can find ample reviews if you’re so inclined to try it. But I’d recommend just playing it, sight unseen.

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action”

I always thought that Dark Souls almost worked like depression. It kept kicking me down over and over again. It kept me in the gloom and darkness… alone. NO video game gave me this experience when I overcame a very tough encounter. Beating certain bosses gave me one heck of a rush of emotions, a much needed kick (the one you get after you drink coffee), and this had a positive effect. The pace and the beauty of the game lulled me into a state of calm transcendence, with moments, be they visual or emotional or spiritual, that literally took my breath away. Personally, I often keep my feelings bottled up – especially when I am angry with life… and this particular game series often added to my anger; I felt like throwing the controller away. But there was a sense of satisfaction each time I progressed through an obstacle. It helped to temporarily distract me from other worries. As the game series came to a close, I remember it was cold and I was wrapped up in a blanket. I just sat there, for a long while, as the beautiful soundtrack wound down, dread it’s rolling, and then I sat there for awhile more, and awhile more. And, I felt like something in me had been slightly altered, forever. The experience of playing such games that say something profound about life, about beauty, about purpose, about meaning.

Whenever people say video games can’t be art, it pisses me off. The dark souls series is a frequently cited counter-example, and for good reason. So the question is: can video games help with depression? I don’t know, to me anyway, the dark souls series served as much as a vicarious illustration of life as anything else. I was able to get out of my own head and have something of an out-of-body experience, staring back at life itself with all its sadness, emptiness, futility, persistence, beauty and magic. When it was over, I felt as if my perspective had shifted…widened. I have replayed these games several times since…, but I often think about the first one. What needs to be realised is that no game can help anyone cope with depression as a form of escapism. Its life lessons, however, that teach us how to pull out of depression once and for all. I’m not saying that games are some kind of magic cure, but I have heard tens of dozens of anecdotal stories about people who have been able to escape and overcome suicidal thoughts and life’s hardships through gaming. For me, when I am faced with impossibly challenging and depressing instances, I would often return to dark souls. I overcome every single enemy through patience, trial, error, and hard work! I take a break from my life issues, play the game, tap into some hidden energy and then face my problems head-on. I have been able to accomplish a lot with this outlook and approach.

Recently, it was announed that the first Dark souls is getting a remaster in May this year. Can’t wait. For a long while, on the Playstation home screen, I would simply slide the cursor over the dark souls icon, and let the music play. It always puts a smile on my face.